PROBZ

Thursday, July 31, 2008

NE TOUCHE PAS!

Don't judge a book by it's cover, and don't judge a guy by the name he gives his cat. Some of you know that I named my cat after the great Australian cyclist, Cadel Evans, for whom I have a soft spot ever since his breakaway over the Col d'Aubisque in the 2005 Tour de France, a climb I was fortunate enough to witness in person. He lost the sprint that day into Pau by about a second, but still won the "most aggressive rider" award and reestablished his career after years of injuries and poor results. He went onto place 2nd overall in the 2007 Tour, and arrived at the 2008 Tour as the overall race favorite.

A funny thing happened, however, and soon after winning the maillot jaune into Hautacam, Cadel seemed to crack a bit under the pressure of the jersey. Amazingly, he won the jersey just a day after a serious crash and kept it for several more days. But in stage 15, up Italy's beyond-category climb to Prato Navoso, Team CSC used a three-pronged attack, with Carlos Sastre and brothers Frank and Andy Schleck, and stole critical seconds that transferred the jersey from Cadel to Frank.

It was at this moment that the Australian's composure revealed some unanticipated weaknesses. Take the first video below, with Cadel still in yellow but hurting after his crash in Stage 9: as reporters jockey for position their microphones and hands occasionally brush Cadel's shoulder, he responds with a slew of bitch-slaps and an end to the interview, his body guard yelling "ne touche pas! Don't touch!". Then, after losing the jersey, Cadel was interrupted during an interview and threatened to cut someone's head off for stepping on his "dog". The bloggosphere is still unsure if there was an actual dog, or if he was referring to his bodyguard as his "dawg'". Lastly, in classic Aussie fashion, Cadel was caught headbutting a camera in order to get to his team car. Cycling fans might recall Cadel's teammate and fellow Aussie, Robbie McEwen, headbutting another Aussie, Stuart O'Grady, during a sprint finish during the 2005 Tour.

In any event, my plea is that you not form a prejudice against my cat because of her association with Cadel Evans. Cadelle (yes, we feminized the spelling), is a very nice feline, and the only time she headbutts people is because she wants pets. She also only swats at string and houseflies, and she doesn't care much for dogs. So be a Cadel-hater all you want, but give some respect to Cadelle. I promise she's a lot less crazy.

VIDEO 01: Ne Touche Pas!


VIDEO 02: I'll cut your head off!


VIDEO 03: Helmet-butt!

I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT MOTION

Sunday, July 27, 2008

BOTH MARTINS WOULD BE PROUD

Saturday, July 26, 2008

KAKOW!

in the spirit of posting books that don't quite exist (though i'll pass on the gif): i present one from back in the day...

MAN SHOOTS HIS LAWNMOWER, POLICE SAY



CNN Shirts might be the news giant's best invention, aside from making a mystery out of Anderson Cooper's sexuality. If you haven't seen CNN Shirts, go to CNN's homepage, check the "Latest News" column on the right side of the page, and you'll see a t-shirt icon next to some of the more light-hearted headlines. I've never seen one for anything serious. So, this morning, when I was checking the news, I was shocked when I didn't see a t-shirt offered for the title above. How perfect is it?! I've never seen a headline so appropriate for a CNN tee. I want it, and I want it now. But alas, there's no t-shirt icon anywhere to be found! Anyway, the story behind the headline is as follows:

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MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin (AP) -- A 56-year-old Milwaukee man is accused of shooting his lawn mower because it wouldn't start.

Keith Walendowski has been charged with felony possession of a short-barreled shotgun or rifle and misdemeanor disorderly conduct while armed.

According to the criminal complaint, Walendowski says he was angry because his Lawn Boy wouldn't start Wednesday morning.

He told police: "I can do that, it's my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want."

A woman who lives at Walendowski's house reported the incident. She says he was intoxicated.

Walendowski could face up to an $11,000 fine and six years and three months in prison if convicted.

A call to Walendowski's home went unanswered Friday.

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ps: I bet if Keith lived in New Hampshire, he wouldn't have had any problems. Live free or die.

NOW IN 3D!

Monday, July 21, 2008



Cover test for the portfolio. Expecting copies from Lulu within a week, and then comes the job blitzkrieg. Shusta, any word on your situation?

Also, since apparently more people than I realized actually pay attention to the blog - YES, I know my book animation comes from another person - who's name we will not utter for fear of making small children weep and grown men slap themselves in the faces uncontrollably. Anyway, yes, I am aware, and it was the point. Would I think any of you had forgotten such a thing? And is it so wrong to embrace gimmickry, especially when it is done AS a gimmick? It's like...gimmi-gimmickry, or duo-gimmitude. Guo-immitry.

Yeah, ok, I'll stop writing now.

I AM THE GREAT PORT-HOLIO!!!

Sunday, July 20, 2008




Finished at last. Check'a check'it...............OVER HERE!

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?



A little trip down memory lane...

ps: Punjabi style?!

OH, AND THERE'S A CRASH!



Ow.

KEEP IT LOW...

Sunday, July 13, 2008

ABSOLUTELY BANANAS



Can it be true?? My portfolio can't actually be 200 pages long. That's just dumb. How did this happen?!