NE TOUCHE PAS!

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Don't judge a book by it's cover, and don't judge a guy by the name he gives his cat. Some of you know that I named my cat after the great Australian cyclist, Cadel Evans, for whom I have a soft spot ever since his breakaway over the Col d'Aubisque in the 2005 Tour de France, a climb I was fortunate enough to witness in person. He lost the sprint that day into Pau by about a second, but still won the "most aggressive rider" award and reestablished his career after years of injuries and poor results. He went onto place 2nd overall in the 2007 Tour, and arrived at the 2008 Tour as the overall race favorite.

A funny thing happened, however, and soon after winning the maillot jaune into Hautacam, Cadel seemed to crack a bit under the pressure of the jersey. Amazingly, he won the jersey just a day after a serious crash and kept it for several more days. But in stage 15, up Italy's beyond-category climb to Prato Navoso, Team CSC used a three-pronged attack, with Carlos Sastre and brothers Frank and Andy Schleck, and stole critical seconds that transferred the jersey from Cadel to Frank.

It was at this moment that the Australian's composure revealed some unanticipated weaknesses. Take the first video below, with Cadel still in yellow but hurting after his crash in Stage 9: as reporters jockey for position their microphones and hands occasionally brush Cadel's shoulder, he responds with a slew of bitch-slaps and an end to the interview, his body guard yelling "ne touche pas! Don't touch!". Then, after losing the jersey, Cadel was interrupted during an interview and threatened to cut someone's head off for stepping on his "dog". The bloggosphere is still unsure if there was an actual dog, or if he was referring to his bodyguard as his "dawg'". Lastly, in classic Aussie fashion, Cadel was caught headbutting a camera in order to get to his team car. Cycling fans might recall Cadel's teammate and fellow Aussie, Robbie McEwen, headbutting another Aussie, Stuart O'Grady, during a sprint finish during the 2005 Tour.

In any event, my plea is that you not form a prejudice against my cat because of her association with Cadel Evans. Cadelle (yes, we feminized the spelling), is a very nice feline, and the only time she headbutts people is because she wants pets. She also only swats at string and houseflies, and she doesn't care much for dogs. So be a Cadel-hater all you want, but give some respect to Cadelle. I promise she's a lot less crazy.

VIDEO 01: Ne Touche Pas!


VIDEO 02: I'll cut your head off!


VIDEO 03: Helmet-butt!

3 Comments:

Blogger chris shusta said...

now's your chance to rename her Cat Stevens!

July 31, 2008 at 6:36 PM  
Blogger // JD said...

Update, he is referring to a real dog, HIS dog, a little thing named "Molly" who goes with him to doping control. Awww...

August 4, 2008 at 11:29 PM  
Blogger // JD said...

ps, shusta, i only name my pets after people not on the "No Fly" list. too bad yussuf islam.

August 4, 2008 at 11:30 PM  

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